Think Pink

Process vs Product

I think that as a perfectionist I struggle with the whole process vs product scenario.  Often, I am so frozen by the complexity (or perceived complexity) of the process of accomplishing a task, that I seldom make it to the product part of the journey.  To my mind, that is truly a waste of both energy and talent since both are often expended, sometimes in great quantity, with nothing to show for it at the end of the day.  I think you can see that this problem, compounding on itself daily, could lead to a completely frenetic life without ever making any progress, without ever having anything to show for the tremendous amount of effort you are expending.  In short, to be caught in this cycle is to completely waste my energy and talents on something that never materializes.

If I, as a homeschooler, I spend weeks and months poring over all the curricula available to me and painstakingly craft an amazing array of educational products but merely give my children a set of learning tools and go over the basic concepts of how they are used, what sort of product will I have at the end of their educational process? It's not the presentation that makes a difference in their lives, its the bits of time I spend with them every single day.  Supporting each new thought and skill and supplying them with the tools they need to build on that foundation that will create a well-rounded and well-educated individual ready to go out and face the world.

I also find it interesting that many churches today are caught in the same trap.  So much energy, time, money and talent goes into the service, it is all-consuming. Because of that tremendous upfront effort, there is very little energy left to follow up with making sure that there is any beneficial product (in the church's case, souls, discipled believers, teaching and training) at the end of the day. While I would never be one to say that any church service should be entered into without preparation and practice, if the completion of service is also considered the completion of "the job" for that week, what then are we producing but a bunch of church service junkies waiting for their next emotional jolt of spirituality next weekend? Sure we can pack 'em in the pews, but are we really equipping anyone to do anything with what may even be a divinely conceived message? Or are we happy that a good delivery is enough to make changes in our day to day actions?

What return are you getting for the amount of time you invest in whatever it is you do? It's an important question. One for which I am finding the answers to be far more difficult than I ever imagined.

I Wasn't Listening

   Have you ever been in a room where everyone is talking all at once, but no one is listening to a word anyone is saying? Now some folks, like me, are blessed with a bit of presence and a really big mouth and are able to force their way into a conversation and make themselves heard, but the majority just go unnoticed.  Last year I was given the opportunity to help facilitate what can become a fairly rambunctious Bible study, and one of the skills I am honing is watching folks to make sure their voice is heard.  I can see it in their eyes when they have something to say, but they just don't quite have the gumption to push their way into the melee.  So I, being large and in charge, will ask everyone to pause and allow them to be heard.  Inevitably it's the quieter voices that lend an insight that has yet to be considered. 

One of my aspirations this year is to be a better friend.  I'm honestly not sure how to go about that. Not that I think I am oh-so-awesome at friendship now, but because everyone places value on actions and behaviors differently, it's hard to know where to start.  Fortunately, I think I have a clue. 

Lately I've felt a bit...unheard. Now, ultimately this post is not about me, but I think that perhaps listening to my own desires about friendship can give me a clue what to for those I love, to be a better friend.  So, back to my issue... I know that everyone is busy, and everyone has their own problems, many of them huge problems that they are contending with.  Still, it becomes hard, sometimes, to find someone who has the time to really hear what's in my heart. Which again, is not terribly important in the scheme of things, nor is it the crux of my post.

With all the busyness and scrambling and agendas and plans and problems and hurts, it's easy to feel like your voice is just another one in the wild jumble of voices all around.  With people recognizing that you are, indeed, speaking, but really too busy to stop and hear what it is you are actually saying.  Perhaps in life, as in class, my job is to recognize that little gleam in your eye, to say to myself "this person has something to say, and they really want to be heard." And then to put everything down...and just listen.

I think that far too often we think, "oh I don't know what to say to that" or "I can't fix that" or even "oh, I have some really good ideas, let me REALLY expound on them" and so we don't listen, or don't stop or get so wrapped up in our own response that we never even hear what the speaker wanted to say.  It's time for me to stop. Just stop. And listen to what the people around me are saying, and not just with their words.

I'd like to be heard, but even more importantly, I really want you to know that I hear you.  I want to know what you have to say, what you think, what you feel, what matters.  I'm sorry I wasn't listening.  I am now. Please, continue.

Idol Clutter

Some days you just know it isn't going to be an easy day. In the past I would have said that this pre-determined that it wasn't going to be a good day, but I have decided to take a different approach to this today.  It's simply going to be choice.  I AM going to have a good, productive day.  I may have to commit and recommit and recommit over and over and over and over again today to that decision, but I am not going to let the struggle inside me rule over how my life is led. 

I have spoken before about how good sleep can be a problem for me.  Last night was the first night in a long time that I have had mid-sleep insomnia, waking at 2am and unable to really get back to sleep until some time after 4am (sorry, hunky - I did TRY to be still).  Last night I think I just had too much on my mind to let it lie.  It all goes back to my theme of considering the lilies which I have yet to expound upon, and so I shall.

There are several things that make up my temperament: I'm a driven first-born, a fixer (thanks, co-dependency) and I have widely varied interests and talents.  These things tend to cause me to micro-manage, fret and take on too much.  Yet scripture tells me I need to let go, release and simply live in joy.  The things that kept me awake and pondering last night, I can neither fix nor change, and while I know that there will be many times in the days to come that I remind myself that they are not mine to keep me awake at night. My brilliant friend Jill said, "I can't change [that] reality, but I can change my reaction to it." So true, so much of what I try to control was never within my control to begin with, so no amount of effort I put forth will ever change it which leads to frustration, anger and a sore jaw (I grit my teeth when frustrated).

I took comfort in my scripture reading today when I saw that Jesus also faced being overwhelmed by the world, and maintained a sinless state by often withdrawing to commune with His Father far from the crowds, and even from his close friends.  While I harbor no illusions about maintaining a sinless state for myself, I do recognize that the way to know what things God does intend me to be responsible for is to withdraw from the noise and the needs, an even the company of loved ones and listen for His voice. If I don't take all my clutter to Him and let it go, I am still too wrapped up in it to really hear what He wants me to know.

Last night while I struggled with those worrisome idols, God was telling me something.  Come away with Him.  Leave those things that were never mine to begin with and just focus on what He is telling me.  I can't change the economy, the people around me, my husband's job and its complications, our income, another person's salvation, how other people perceive me or a myriad other things.  But I can be God's child. I can sit with Him for a time and not worry about other people's voices or my emotional state. I will let God direct my reactions to that which I cannot change, and focus on that which truly is my responsibility.  The added benefit is that I will come away filled, restored, rested and ready to pour myself into the things that are mine to fill.

Simplicity NOW!

You had to know that I was going to have to write more about organizing and getting settled, right?  It's inevitably going to be uppermost on my mind this month (though at the moment whether or not I will actually throttle the children with their own toothbrushes is pretty high as well). Earlier this year the lovely and talented producer of uncommonly cute girls Stephanie shared a "Decluttering Calendar" with me, and I fell in love.  One thing to do everyday.  I can do one thing, right? Yep. I can. I have a handy dandy highlighter and I mark them right off and I feel goo-ood! YAY! So I signed up for the little e-news letter and got this questions.  Some are a wee bit touchy-feely I'm-ok-you're-ok.  But that's ok.  They're helpful:

1. How do you want to feel this week? What is one action you can take?

Not rushed.  Plan my time. Look ahead and DO NOT procrastinate

2. Identify one time waster you can decrease.

Dang it--it's the computer.

3. You are enough. Write down 5 accomplishments from today.

• helped a friend
• started back to school
• prepared, served and cleaned up after a family dinner
• folded almost ALL the clean laundry
• went to the library

4. Calm yourself down with deep breathing during stressful situations.

5. Make a list of things you would like to finish up from last year.

• Organize the garage
• all closets decluttered and cleaned
• a place for everything
• paint the kid's rooms
• increase flower gardens

6. Do one task that has been on your to do list since 2007

I'll get back to you at the end of the week--I hope to conquer at least one closet, maybe two this week.

7. Do something you are passionate about

OH all RIGHT I'll read; twist my arm! Heh.  I hope to draw a little too.

Rustic Italian Bean Soup (Healthy foods Wk 1)

One of my goals this year is to try more new, and mostly healthy recipes.  This week I made a really yummy soup.  You know it's good when my so-not-a-vegetarian husband tells me it's good.

Rustic Italian Bean Soup

This classic Italian soup is a one-pot supper filled with Mediterranean-style nutrition, good for heart and soul. When wholegrain pasta is added to tender kidney beans and vegetables simmered to perfection, the results are hearty and warming, a perfect meal for the end of winter. Satisfying without any dairy, and reminiscent of Tuscan farmhouse cuisine at its best.

  INGREDIENTS

1 onion, chopped
Inner stalks of a head of celery, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 1/2 quarts water or good-quality vegetable stock
1 cup dried kidney beans, rinsed and soaked in water to cover overnight
1 teaspoon dried sage
2 medium potatoes, scrubbed and diced
2 carrots, scrubbed and diced
1 24-ounce can tomatoes, diced, with juice
1 1/2 cups kale, thick stems removed, coarsely chopped
4 ounces dried pasta of choice
1 teaspoon dried basil
Salt to taste

1. In a heavy-bottomed soup pot, heat the olive oil and saute onion and celery until tender and beginning to brown. Add water or stock and bring to a boil.

2. Drain soaked kidney beans and add to soup, along with sage. Cook until beans are tender, about an hour.

3. Add potatoes, carrots, tomatoes and tomato juice to soup; simmer until vegetables are very tender, about 1 hour, adding more water or stock if needed.

4. Add kale and pasta and cook around 10 minutes, until pasta is tender. Add salt to taste and serve hot.

Serves 10 to 12.

***I made a few alterations.  I don't love kale so I did not put it in.  Next time I might try some spinach in, though. I also sliced three yellow squash and added them in the last hour of cooking. EXCELLENT!

Recipe Link Here

Mission Organization

Sometimes I ask myself,"Self, why are we always cleaning and organizing?"  Maybe it's time I took the time to really answer that question as I set out to face my new year. I tried to break it down into a simple statement, a mission statement to narrow my focus:

I want to live my life the following ways:

• Do the things that need to be done quickly, efficiently, thoroughly and happily so that
• I can do the things that bring me joy more often, and without neglecting the necessary

I think that that statement fully explains what I want to do this year.  There will always be necessary things, laundry, cleaning, housework, mowing, home repair, but the faster and more efficiently I can accomplish these things every day, the more time is freed for the things I wish to do.  I am tired of feeling guilty for "stealing a a few hours" for me. Whether it be to read a book, to walk the beach, to draw or just to think, it seems that in the back of my mind is always the nagging reminder that I have other things that really need doing. NO MORE! I know my God is a God of order, making just enough hours in each and every day to accomplish everything that needs doing if I only I can order my time His way and not my way.I don't want to always be thinking about what is undone.  I want to rest and enjoy my life, my home, my family knowing that all things will be done in their proper time. 

I have many friends to thank for helping me get launched on this new adventure.  However, in order to get all things done in their proper time today, I must prepare to leave the house for the evening.  Be watching for some helpful links and happy hat tips to those who led me there tomorrow.

 

How to Eat an Elephant

I admit that I am filled to the tippy top with plans for 2008.  I also admit that I have several OCD perfectionist tendencies when I have so many wondermous and possible plans.  Those tendencies lead to conversations in my head that go like this:

"OOOOOOOOOOh that is COOL we should do that"

"ok"

"Only we have to start it RIGHT NOW TODAY and DO IT PERFECTLY THE FIRST TIME"

"really?"

"YES! It's the only way to do ANYTHING"

"oh well then....I think, let's skip it"

And herein lies the reason I think that so many people are so frustrated by New Year's Resolutions.  Because they look at them as something that must be done immediately.  Might I remind myself, and you if you need it, that the year 2008 has 12 months in it.  It does not, and in fact should not be tackled all at one time by 10 am January 1. 

I have therefore deemed that all of January is my launch month.  It is my month to collect my thoughts, to get things in order, to set the foundation for a giant tower of success.  Small things have begun to be implemented but as for larger projects, well, most of those are still being thought out, considered, and broken down into much more digestible pieces.  My aspirations are like eating an elephant. They are huge, enormous and totally attainable if I don't focus on the entire body but only on the piece that I am called to chew up right now.

I also harbor no illusions that my ideas, plans and schemes may be undermined, readjusted, or totally altered as the months come to pass.  But I don't know what may happen and worrying about it, doesn't change what needs to be addressed right now.  If change comes, so be it.  I trust the God is faithful enough to show me what needs to be kept, tossed or changed as we travel through this year.

Being that we are in the 08 year, I have EIGHT areas where I hope to improve adjust or flat-out begin anew before the end of this year.  I will be examining each more in-depth in the next week.

• Spirituality
• Relationships
• Diet
• Health
• Organization
• Time Management
• Current Skills/ Hobbies/ Activities
• New Skills/ Continuing Education

Eight Areas to work on.  There is no way I can fix, change, adjust or start everything tomorrow, but in twelve months, I can eat a lot of elephant.  One bite at a time.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! (A Preview)

The theme for the year 2008:

CONSIDER THE LILIES!

Friends just left and the kiddos are brushing their teeth. Soon we'll be tucked into our beds for the first sleep of the year.

Here's to a peaceful beginning, middle and end.

Good night.

I tell you not to worry about your life. Don't worry about having something to eat, drink, or wear. Isn't life more than food or clothing?

Look at the birds in the sky! They don't plant or harvest. They don't even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren't you worth more than birds?

Can worry make you live longer? Why worry about clothes? Look how the wild flowers grow. They don't work hard to make their clothes. But I tell you that Solomon with all his wealth wasn't as well clothed as one of them.

God gives such beauty to everything that grows in the fields, even though it is here today and thrown into a fire tomorrow. He will surely do even more for you! Why do you have such little faith?